In Trouble At Work…what Can I Do To Make This Better?
I’m a manager, and an employee (who does not work for me or in the same department) has filed a complaint against me for a personal conflict between myself & his wife. He is bringing emails that I have sent her from home, which say some awful things- but no worse than what she has said, to show our HR Rep and I’m afraid that I may be demoted or worse, fired. My boss let me know what was going on (she is on my side, but since HR is now involved, does not have any authority in this situation). She thinks they may cite “conduct unbecoming of a manager”. My first question is: can this even go any further since this was a personal issue w/the spouse of an employee, and none of this took place at work? And if so, how can I save my job and my title as a manager? I’d be willing to publicly apologize if I had to, but I don’t know if the VP of HR will sympathize. Any advice is appreciated!
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Well, rest assured and get some backbone!! Apologize? Only if that was your initial sentiment, but don’t do it because of this-if you are going to be a meany at least stick to it. This employee is the one who is “unbecoming.” He can’t bring outside, non related to work (AKA “personal issues) things into the work place. He actually will look petti and stupid. Your own conduct would only be called into question if you did something that reflected bad on the company, your personal issues are not their business. If your HR rep has any common sense (which I’m sure they do) they will see this as trivial and trite-a blatant attempt on part of another to discredit you. They should see through this and actually be peeved at the guy for wasting his time for such stupid things. Under responsible settings, I would consider this fact; but I also know that their are “silly”, irrational people out there. I would entrust the issue to HR because they are “people” skilled, but if you are hesitant you may want to keep an attorney on retainer just in case it evolves to anything worse. Once the threat of lawyers are involved people usually let bygones be bygones. Good Luck!
it is their job to at least attempt to sympathize if they can. i think it’s an out of work issue so you should be alright. overall as a manager you do have to act in a particular way no matter where you are. it’s sad but true and i’d expect that out of my manager.
do what you can to protect your job. stand up for yourself, apologize if need be. don’t be ashamed. and whatever you do don’t try to explain yourself or get the HR officer on your side, that won’t work. there are no excuses only official remedies at this point.
I’m sorry but what was going on between you and another employees spouse? I’m sure this will be the first question they ask you at work. This sounds more like a civil matter to me – as in they should hire an attorney and file a lawsuit against you not talk to your place of employment (I’m not saying you are guilty of anything, just seems out of place to address it this way). You’d need to post more info to really get an answer worth anything as I can’t tell from the above info.
Your personal life is separate from your professional life. As long as you are being professional at work, this should not have an impact on your job. How is this connected to your work? By maintaining your silence with this person, you are giving them enough rope to hang themselves. When they see they are not getting a reaction from you, they will stop the childish behavior.
Tell your superior that this is not affecting your work and should not be brought into it.